Strange Things.

Been doing a lot of reading, looking and listening lately. I love taking in all sorts of art, but it also makes me feel terribly inferior at times too. I am not the smartest of people. I never finished school. I haven't any real training in anything. Always bits and pieces here and there. I get by though.

But I have been listening to a lot of music, and more than anything I want to write something that means something to people. I want to make a change. A difference. I can't hold a guitar, let alone play one. I can't actually sing. I have a pretty big voice on me, but not the kind I can use to express all of the emotions I want to get out into the world.

My wife sticks by me and supports me through everything though. She is my rock. She is so smart too. Learned and wonderful and inspiring.

I have been stressed lately about some things. My band has some shows coming up. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little anxious about it all.

I want my hands to be able to craft something. Someone told me on Thursday that I had inspired them when they write lyrics, which humbled me greatly. I myself have been inspired by someone I never thought I would be, and now all I want to do is write some great music, with people who share my vision and want to work as hard at it as I do. All things are about change. We can't change change. It happens regardless.

Some of these feelings have been brought on by watching the NOFX series NOFX BACKSTAGE PASSPORT. They traveled to places they have never been and places that bands hardly ever go. They wanted to make playing shows dangerous and fun like it was when they started. The series has a real sense of excitement and adventure. I myself miss that playing shows, but not from being in a massive band and doing everything, but more so because of the people around me. There has not been a lack of venues for a lot of people going to shows in the last few years. I want to play more shows in places that aren't frequented. Places that don't often have shows (Venues wise). I want to play with strange bands. I want to play to as many kids as I can while i still have this passion in me. I don't want to lose it all yet.

I'll leave it there for now, before I sink into the depths of anger and despair and just want to bury my head in the sand.

cheers.
xclagx